We met thru Kazaa...

I was so new to net, someone had asked me to download songs from Kazaa. I met him through Kazaa, he said a hi, we talked for a while and then exhanged our YM ids. He was super cool about everything. I liked him a lot, he was so kind and so good. He also gave me suggestions, advices about different issues but I take suggestions from many people and at the end do what I feel is the best newayz.....

So this special friend we used to chat for hours in the night something from 11-2 or 10-1, 2 to 3 hours was the time he used to give me and which i was getting very accustomed to. Again these timings used to change according to his net hours, which used to bug me sometimes but all that was fine. We used to share our personal problems, our daily gags, jokes, shared the smallest details of everyday life, nething with each other and he was becoming one of the best buddies that i have ever had.

As time passed, god knows what, he didnt like chatting nemore. His studies were more important, now thats not the point, ok fine i udnerstand studing is important and the main aim in once life, and at the age of 21 ofcourse it should b and i appreciate that. Giving CAT is not an easy job, it requires a lot of hard work, these studies went on for 1 and a 1/2 years. During which, he made all sorts of promise of mailing me regularly, keeping in touch through phone. He used to be online on YM I could bloody well see it, but he didnt have the time nor ne interest in chatting. We stopped sharing the minute details of our lifes, we were almost not in touch. Just few minutes ago he was couting the no. of times we had a chat for more than 5 mins ;)). Ohhh we chatted for 30 mins, hmmm he points out 4 days in two months where we did have a chat for more than 5 mins. i was so so amazed.

He has a sister, even they dont chat for long but they share and maintain the same relationship. hmmm good point I think I function in a different way. times when we shared small details of everything and then theres a sudden gap where u dont converse at all u dont know what the other is doing and still expect the same to go on. im not even suppose to complain about it. I still have the same feeling though, i really take him as a very good friend and i miss him too, have to b ok with it now, but im really not ok also i dislike it, but then sometimes things just happen. Happened for good i think, if he would have been close as he was I wouldnt have met 2 important persons in my life. i dont know where these relationships will go, will they flower or meet the end (meet the end, i wont like it to be that way but just in case if it happens. will try my best to come against the end though) but they have been a part of my life and i will cherish the memories forever.

A Possessive Me.

Jealousy isnt the right word for the situation im facing. I think im possessive. Im possessive about certain human beings not for things that belong to me. This feeling comes for only those whom i love.

being pos·ses·sive: -

• Of or relating to ownership or possession.
• Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others: a possessive parent.
  

A Possessive Me. This is the side of mine which people usually dont like to see. I dont show everything, everything what i feel (only when im possessive). I feel possessive about people only when im not getting the care, the attention that i used to, or someone has stopped behaving in a particular way just because of the new relationship he/she has got into.

There is a girl, she is very intelligent, very kind and gentle, straightforward, and a very very good human being. I know have talked her many times. My brother had started a new (now old) relationship with her, the problem is he shared the same relationship as he did with me. Yes Yes it is a brother-sister relationship. Now he says that he loves us both the same way. I dont want to dominate him or any of his relationships, no i dont want that. He marks the place where he and that girl first met on google earth, but didnt even bother to find out where we met first. He has stopped sharing with me most of the things which he used to share before she came. He has stopped all the dicussions with me, i think he finds her more suitable for all that(there are many more incidence). I dont deny, i know im an average person or may be even low. My bro once dedicated a song to me, but after she came he dedicated that song to her and gave me a new song. this is what he means by loving us both equally. Now u must be thinking im very materialistic, yes i dont say no Im. The reason why i dont believe in this loving equally business is that it is said Love deepens and grows as time goes by. It is like a tree it gives strength to the relationship as it deepens and grows. Ofcourse it is true, as time passes there are so many things that one has shared with the other.

Im not Jealous because that girl is so intelligent and so so nice and all. I love being me. the only thing that bothers and hurts is my brother behaving like this. Ok he can like her more, but atleast shouldnt say that he loves us both equally.

i know after reading this blog he is going to get mad at me, and in all probability will show that girl. Its ok, i dont want to hurt anybody's feelings, and if i do so, please forgive me. I only know one thing i had to say it.

Words and Relations

Words are wings for humans, it is said that there is more power in a pen than in a sword. One of the primary things learnt by the child are alphabets which make up these words, these words are then defined to the mind and grasped. Sometimes words are just spoken without knowing the correct meaning or it so happens that people understand it in a different way(different here means not in the way the person conveying the message means). People percieve this world in their own ways which is not wrong, it happens unconsiously. This happens because life gives different experiences, learning to different people. Man its all Connected!!!!!!!!!! (well i wont go into this thought that everything is connected to everything, perhaps in another blog.)

Some Quotes which i like on Word.

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope; faith; belief"
-Winston Churchill quotes (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

"Be true to your work, your word, and your friend."
-Henry David Thoreau quotes (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)

"Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity."
-Proverb quotes

"Words not only affect us temporarily; they change us,"

-David Riesman

"If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted."

- H. R. Halderman

Such weired thing these words are, they create misunderstandings, they hurt, they make u weep, they put u in trouble, they make u laugh, happy, they bring u sccess and they also make u understand the meaning of the same. they express a feeling/emotion in a best possible way. Sometimes i think (i had this thought before the movie Black) what kind of a world will it be for a deaf, dumb and a blind human, it seems to me something like suffocation. Imagine a world without these words.

Words is what we converse with, languages can be different but words are there, its universal. These words sometimes not the best possible way to express feelings or anything in that matter. I feel that these words sometimes dont let us see the reality. Words that we read affect us so much that we change, because it is what we connect everything around us with. When i started this post there were tears in my eyes, i did hurt someone who is so dear to me, my angel. The Words which i said to him, i didnt know the meaning but i just spoke and it hurt. Now i understood what did i say and its hurting me even more. I cant bear that i have been so cruel to my best bud. it was a sheer misunderstanding.

i dedicate this post to him.

Relationships and Individualism

Where does Individualism stand in relationship???

Relationship: a relationship is when 2 bodies or more than 2 are related in some or the other way. its a way 2 or more bodies behave with each other. it is a loving association shared by the 2.

does individualism have a place in relationship, a bond between the two. there is no individualism in a relationship, something which governs and runs a relationship is compromise. A compromise is what happens when there is a stand taken on a subject by an individual and accepted by other either with his/her will or not. compromise is also when both the people agree that they both cant agree on a subject.

i dont deny individualism but in a relationship when 2 people come together.....naahhhhhhhhh

Time & Me

to start with this post carries date and the day, which shows the time this post was done

Time: is in ur watch, there is a time which is running ur life, there is a time which is going on in ur mind about ur work

Time: Some one at a right place at a wrong time, someone at a wrong place at the right time, someone at a wrong place at the wrong time and someone at a right place at the right time does it all, makes history, mistake, famous........

Time: is good and is bad

Time: makes one experienced

Time: times u want to remember shared with ur loved once

Time: Rules

Time: times when relationships born and break

Time: when it ends, u die, is it? or it continues after it also

Time: Is different for different planets, for Life, Universe and Everything ; )

Time: Time sometimes i feel i wanna break free from its vicious circle, wanna break free and see whats beyond it.

Time: is what i want to end for me eternally.